


Every Sword Has Its Sheath

by cannibalisticshadows



Category: Megamind (2010)
Genre: Alien Biology, Alien Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cunnilingus, Established Relationship, F/M, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Misunderstandings, Post-Film, Roxanne Trying To Get In Megamind's Pants, Sex Toys, and finding out what's in his pants
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-18 10:47:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14211507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cannibalisticshadows/pseuds/cannibalisticshadows
Summary: Megamind refuses to make love to Roxanne.She wants to know why.





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> Buckle up, megarox fans. There's angst ahead.
> 
> And smut.

One of the things Roxanne loved about Megamind was his brain. 

Indeed, there really wasn’t another soul on the entire planet like him, and Roxanne was proud to have such an intelligent boyfriend. Despite their rocky start, today she could say with certainty that they were a team. Yet no couple was perfect, right?

On an intellectual level, he was so perfectly compatible with her that she found herself never bored or in lack of mental stimuli in his presence. His presence alone was enough to give her shivers sometimes, but his wit and his charming way of making her smile endeared her to bits and pieces.

Socially he was fun to be with, coming up with schemes and plans and all kinds of out-of-this-world ideas. He could be painfully awkward at times, but through her gentle guidance of being in the “Real World” (as he put it), he steadily crawled from his villainous anti-social flamboyance. At least for the most part.

Megamind—Syx, his name before he became a villain, of which she called him only in private, like a little inside secret—though, had a brain that was also too fast and too energized for her own. Sometimes his thoughts were so wild that he couldn’t so much as sit still beside her. Sometimes she had to let him go to Evil Lair where she wouldn’t so much as hear from him for a week until his upswing passed. 

Roxanne knew it shouldn’t sadden her as much as it did—but it did. This was Megamind though, and she had to respect that.

Physically he was different from her. His heart was much bigger than her own (actually he had two hearts), had two sets of eyelids, required enough food to starve an anorexic person, had skin that was near-invincible to a sharp knife (he also had an incredible immunity and healing system–she wasn’t really surprised, him being the ex-nemesis of Metro Man), and probably had genitals much, much different than a human.

But he was an alien. And therefor he had a different set of needs and requirements than the average human male. But there was one universal thing even he could wrap his big head around. Something they should really establish. 

Sex.

And she hadn’t so much as seen his nipples in the year they had been an item.

Roxanne stared at Megamind’s back. He wore his faded AC/DC button up sleep shirt, exposed from the blanket bunched around his slim waist. Megamind laid on his side, back to her, breathing in twice every minute. Still. Silent. _Vulnerable_.

It was odd to see him sleep. Usually, he was lively and animate with excitement. But tonight he slept in her bed. That was even odder.

Shifting her head on the pillow, Roxanne stretched out her limbs and wiggled, as stealthily as possible, closer to her blue lover. 

He grunted in his sleep when her knee brushed against the back of his thigh. Gently, she pressed against his frame until she could feel the slight heat of him. Megamind didn’t give off much. It wasn’t unusual that he kept his warehouse so dank. But, with her, he liked to keep close to conserve the heat between them until the two became a nice warm bundle. Yet this was typically done during the day. At night, things were different. 

Things were more intimate at night.

Rarely did Megamind sleep—but when he did she really tried to let him rest. Sadly she was left by her lonesome when she couldn’t sleep. And so, she stared at his motionless form in longing to understand.

After an entire year, Megamind refused to make love to her. Or take his close off. Or let her touch him past his waist.

Groaning quietly, Roxanne pressed harder against him under she could feel his sinewy back. The soft, worn material of his T-shirt felt familiar and homey on her palm as she ran a hand down his arm. He twitched, but did nothing more to rouse from his deep sleep. Feeling wanton, she pulled herself up on her other arm’s elbow.

Light from the city’s restless life shined through her bedroom window, illuminating Megamind’s powder blue skin. His face was lax of its usual emotion, blank and soft and sweet and gentle. Open. Pure. Relatable. Like, she herself should be in dreamland like him. Right now. But she felt wide awake.

And she wanted.

Roxanne bit her lip as she stroked her hand up his arm again, pleased to see him sigh when her fingers graced his exposed neck. Bolder, she curled her fingertips under his chin.

Sensative here, Megamind’s eyes flickered back and forth beneath his lids, until both opened just the slightest degree. Roxanne didn’t let him return to sleep though. Insistent on his attentions, she brushed her nails down his sharp cheekbones and chin, right before leaning down to kiss his shoulder.

“Syx,” she whispered, hiking up one leg to throw her thigh over his legs. 

“Temptress,” he rasped through sleep-raddled vocal cords, sending delighted shivers down her body. “It’s awfully late.” Opening one eye a little more, Megamind glanced at the clock beside their bed. “Or awfully early.”

“Don’t care.” Roxanne brought her kissed up his shoulder to his neck, to his earlobe, to his face. Making a small sound of equal pleasure, Megamind turned his head to meet her lips in a soft, sleepy kiss. 

His lips molded against her own, most delicately, tugging at her bottom lip, with scrapping teeth and tongue. Aroused, she pressed back and added her own tongue, until her tip touched his slick appendage. 

Roxanne nearly squealed with delight as Megamind’s hand came up to cup her hip, and rub soft circles into her flesh through her nightie. Sighing, she rolled onto her back as his gentle prodding coaxed her to.

“Oh, baby,” she gasped as his hands tugged her nightie up, bunching the helm around her wide hips. Spreading her legs, she could show him her lacy blue panties. She could not see him well, but knew his sight was stronger than her own. Sensing his thrill at her choice of knickers and feeling his sweet touches on her inflamed flesh, Roxanne opened her legs wider in a silent invitation. “Take me, please,” she whispered into the dark room.

Megamind said nothing, but she heard him shuffle down onto the bed and lay upon his belly. His breath fogged against her knee, and, a feather-light kiss was placed there. Sneaky fingers abruptly pressed against her panty-clothed mound, making her arch her back in a soft gasp. She could feel him smirk against her leg. 

She loved it when he did this. Every time the blue alien put his tongue on her, all Roxanne could do after was mumble in a useless, overly sated pile of goo. How he, a virgin (Minion told her that, before her, Megamind was never 'involved' with anyone before), was so godforsakenly good at cunnilingus was _ridiculous_. 

“Roxanne,” he mouthed against her damp panties, nuzzling his nose and sharp features into her tingling flesh. Filled with need, Roxanne ground onto the matress to press her womanhood against him, but a frustrated growl escaped her when Megamind evaded her advancement. Chuckling darkly, he nipped the thin skin of her inner thigh. “Patience, Miss Ritchi.”

“Fuck me,” she cooed, flopping onto her pillow after propping herself up to glower at him. Smug bastard. Sexy, smug bastard.

Tonight.

It had to happen tonight.

“Ah,” she abruptly gasped as one of his skillful fingers snaked into her panties, teasing her damp petals. They pressed against her outer lips, rolling lazily in circular motions until her muscles gave way, letting him press further into her. Roxanne huffed, heart wild with anticipation, as two of his fingers slid into her hot, soppy core. 

“I like the way you squeeze me,” he mused, kissing the neatly trimmed hair on her mound. “And always so wet. How do you do it?”

“I—Oh!” Her breath hitched as he turned his fingers within her. “It’s—all you. Always you.”

“Wise answer,” he said, before practically ripping her panties off. 

And then he ate her out like a man starved.

Yowling, she thrashed and opened her legs just wide enough, entirely in surprise, as his mouth came upon her in vicious licks and laps, suckling and using strategic rolls of his lips and tongue. His tongue was just slightly longer than the average human’s—how she never discovered this in all his years of villainy, she wouldn’t know. She wasn’t complaining now. But she did want something more than a tongue. If there wasn’t anything more, well, she would take what she could get, and simply relish in the union of being one with her soon-to-be-husband.

Megamind loved going down on her. Why, Roxanne hadn’t a clue, but his vigor with his goal of literally drinking her down was admirable.

And a huge turn on.

Nearly slapping his hairless blue head as she groped for leverage, anything to hold onto as her insides turned into goo and her loins and belly sparked like fire was burning within her, she cried out as his tongue curled in her womanhood, drawing out all her juices. It was wet, messy, but his open and obvious joy in doing this to her made her heart swell with love. God, she needed him.

“Syx!” She moaned, bucking her hips as she chased her impending climax, sobbing with her sexual high. Her whole body sung with pleasure, scortching her skin and flesh with every move of his mouth. Megamind moaned into her, sending vibrations across her trembling core. It was too much!

“SYX!” Roxanne shouted, then, as the room and the building and the fucking world came crashing onto her, spiraling out of control—out of control—

She could barely move as Megamind, with gentler worshiping, suckled her hot flesh and folds in his mouth, humming with her silently screaming body. She sored, higher and higher, rocking her hips as it washed through her system like a drug.

Time passed as she settled—sated, through one orgasm. How the fuck did he do it? Roxanne sighed. She propped herself up again, petting the silk-like skin of his head. She tugged his sharp-tipped ear, flushed a light purplish pink.

“Your turn.”

Having been resting against her privates, like a sated cat who’d gotten the cream, Megamind lifted his head up to look at her. His emerald eyes, reflecting light from what little was let into the room, gazed back at her seriously. It was hard to with his mouth and chin coated with her body’s juices.

“Roxanne…”

Oh, no. Not this again.

“It’s been a year,” she sighed, pulling away from him to sit up. She couldn’t focus and talk to him with his face between her legs. “We’re practically married—!“

“But we’re not. Not yet.”

“Megamind,” Roxanne reached out for him. “If this is about your—body, I don’t care. We’ve been through this.”

“Yes, yes, we have,” the blue alien waved her off as he shuffled to his side of the bed, but not too far. “You love me, you adore me, you want my cock. But let’s wait?”

Roxanne wasn’t a wanton. She wasn’t a slut. It reminded her of those cruel comments back in high school in the gossip mill, but it was just gossip. She wasn’t the kind of woman to see his lack of eagerness to fuck her as rejection. It’s just—he had seen every inch of her, inside and out. His fingers and his tongue loved to be in her, had teased places she didn’t even know could feel good, and familiarized themselves with every curve and crevice of her body. Sex to Roxanne was extremely intimate, and knowing she was already so at ease and trusting in his company with nothing but her birthday suit on spoke volumes. 

Soon he would be her husband, though. Soon, he said, she’d get to see him in his naked glory. 

Perhaps it was his tradition—getting to finally do the do on the wedding night. Roxanne admired that. It kept their relationship passionate. Exciting. Filled with anticipation.

But she couldn’t help but feel—alone, in their sexual relations? It felt unfair to leave him wanting while she was high on a orgasm-mind haze. Maybe selfish. And what of him? When did he care for what was right-? Well, he was Metro City's defender, but he was still Megamind. Nothing could change his devilish ways, out of the media, and Roxanne wasn't one to believe people should change for the sake of others--Yes, turning to the good side was vital to her, but nothing should change his true, darling self. Why worry about wanting to do things right with sex? It was the 21 century.

It was this, and his firmness on them not performing the actual act of sex itself. When she reached for him, just like now, Megamind would pull away and dance off some excuse. Before he proposed to her, the things he would say to keep her from touching him were ridiculous. Now engaged, the excuse was, _“Let’s wait.”_ Not, _“let’s wait until we get married.”_

Wait for what? Marriage, she assumed.

Roxanne naturally assumed it was shyness on his part—it had to be that. They could make out for what felt like hours, leaving her hot and aroused, and not once had she felt him with an erection. 

In fact, she hadn’t actually seen an outline of a penis yet. And with his special skin-tight material? How could she not? If he was equipped like a human man, he would have to be awfully small and so tucked his balls would be bluer than the rest of him. If that was the case—she didn’t care if his penis was an inch long, she just wanted him to be with her! Was he nervous about not satisfying her with just his genitals? Fuck, he certainly could make her come otherwise! 

Or, was it, Roxanne had theorized months ago, he was afraid of how she would reacted?

Did he have something—certainly not human looking down there? Roxanne knew she’d still want him if he had a vagina down there.

(he certainly could scream like a woman, but Megamind explained that his species communicated through high-pitched warbled and chirps, some sounds to low or too high for human frequency.)

Roxanne sighed and scooted down the bed. They wouldn’t be having sex tonight.

“I haven’t even seen your chest, Megamind,” she said quietly, moving to get under the covers. He didn’t follower he under, and when she tried to put her arm around him he became very tense.

Like usual, when she wanted to cuddle after he used her mouth on her.

Megamind shut his eyes, sighing back. “Not yet, Roxanne.”

Roxanne didn't know how to feel.


	2. II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're half way through, folks...
> 
> The Bernard in this verse is slightly inspired by the Bernard from [The Woes of the Eternally Bored](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8185898/1/The-Woes-of-the-Eternally-Bored) by FancyFreeThinker101, which is a beautifully unique piece of work in the Megamind fandom. I highly recommend it. I've already read it thrice. We may be seeing more of him in this fic... If the plot line allows it.

Megamind was on another one of his upswings.

Roxanne didn’t mind, just smiled fondly to herself as she watched her fiancé twitter about the Lair like an aggravated bluebird. Today had been pleasantly quiet so far, little to no calls to do his duty as Metro City’s Defender, so she and Megamind decided to settle in at the warehouse for some time to themselves. Minion and some of the more frisky brainbots left earlier that morning to splurge on excess energy present from having nothing major to do. She thinks they went out to the canyons on the outskirts of Metro City, but either way she knew they would be out for sometime. 

“Roxanne, pass me the socket wrench, please?” Megamind asked, hopping from a stand beside a giant machine—a filter that cleaned salt water into drinking water. 

“Sure… Ah, it was on your desk, wasn’t it?”

“Yes, yes, bring it here.”

“It’s not here.”

“What?”

Roxanne repeated herself calmly, watching as his impossibly wide green eyes flickered to her, then to the workbox that housed said tool. He huffed with childish anger. 

“I told them only to play with the big wrench!” _Brainbots._

“I’m sure it hasn’t gone too far,” she chuckled, walking over to place a hand on his arm. “And Pinky and her pack don’t go to far from their roost.”

“Still,” the alien shook his blue head, “I told them not to!”

He was getting a little to riled up, she noted. Unsurprised and feeling particularly affectionate, Roxanne took his hands in hers and squeezed them. When she managed to catch his wavering green eyes, she smiled softly. “You’ve been working hard today, baby. Rest a bit with me?”

“I’m not a baby,” he said with a firm moue, the previous adrenaline he had spewed having died down. Just a little bit. “Nor do I need rest.”

“Hmm, are you sure?” Roxanne kissed his cheek, enjoying the silky softness of his skin. Sometimes she envied that. Other times, like now, she felt like it would never be enough.

But now she had his attention.

Megamind’s focus zeroed in on her like a hawk to its pray. Nostrils flaring, pupils dilating, he pulled his hands from hers to grasp her hips with more strength than he usually used in their one-sided sexual trysts. Excited by the change, she let him back her up against the desk, watching his wild emerald orbs flicker all over her form with intent. “I love you,” he said, but his voice was deep and serious. Primal. Sensual. 

“I love you, t— _Oh!_ ” Roxanne yelped as he abruptly shoved up against her with his frame, kissing her fiercely on the mouth. His teeth clashed with hers in the sudden passionate embrace, scraping her lips with his sharp pearly whites. Humming in surprise, she helplessly felt him kiss her with all the energy pent up in him; he chased her tongue with his, urging, silently pleading, gasping as he tried to devour her sounds and reaction like a man dying of hunger. Tasting his desperate desire on his pale blue lips, Roxanne moaned as she struggled to reciprocate.

Kissing Megamind never got old. He was sweet about it, always gazing at her with an almost-shyness that left her breathless. He made her feel special. And in all her years, all her dates and boyfriends and girlfriends, no one had ever made her feel like _this_. God, she _adored_ him. How can anybody be as perfect as him? 

He grunted as he pushed up against her again, bucking his hips between her legs. Instantly thrilled, she parted her legs to allow him closer. Groaning as she felt his slender figure mold itself against her own, Roxanne grasped the back of his neck to pull him even closer against her. 

Megamind grunted at her grabby hands, openly finding it satisfying. Suddenly, he took his grabby hands from her butt to her hips, hoisting her up in the air—only to dump her in his chair. 

The blue ex-villain fell to his knee, eyes feral, and pulled her skirt with insistence. Taking pitty on him, she lifted her hips to help him take her garments off. He took her skirt and her panties, unbuttoned her blouse, and tossed it aside like it was on fire. He pulled her to him again, hands shaking. “I-I want to fuck you with my tongue.”

“Yes,” she breathed, stroking the silky skin of his head. “Go ahead, sweetie.”

And he did—wet, slick, slippery tongue and her throbbing sex. She practically _dripped_ onto the leather chair as she spasmed and shook and quake with his fierce mouth and tongue, twitching all over, nearly drooling, nearly sobbing, as he swirled that blissfully cruel appendage of his to her pulsing womanhood. She thrashed as the tip of his tongue flicked against her clit; she shouted as he traced his name on her cunt.

When she came not once, not twice, but thrice, Megamind settled his sharp face against the inside of her right thigh. He breathed with ragged pants as he smeared her slickness on her skin, licking sweetly after each streak or stray bit. Like a sleepy kitten, she thought with faint amusement in the back of her mind. 

She reached for him—she always did. Though she felt completed at ease, her body still earned for him. Her heart, of all things, wanted him close and pressed against her. To reassure her.

But, unsurprisingly, when she pulled on his shoulders’ spiked mantle to draw him toward her, he flinched as if physical hurt. 

Eyes opening wide, he stared at her with a burning intensity that left her wordless. He stepped away from her, hands fluttering in the air. “No need for that, my dear.”

And there it was, again. His refusal to be touched by her. Even on his unpredictable upswings where he loved shoving her against any surface without warning in spontaneous passion, he refused to do— _anything_ to her after he got her off. And he was doing it now—purposefully ignoring her, nodding hastily as if nervously dismissing an acquaintance. She watched him, quite visibly, shut down and turn her out. His expression became tense, as did his whole body. 

“Syx,” she began, shakily tucking her legs together, reaching blindly for her skirt. “I—“ Roxanne gulped. 

_Don’t say his real name during the day. The night is so much more private; secure. You’ve broken yet another thing, here, Roxanne,_ said a malicious voice in the back of her mind.

These things only _ever_ happened at night. But it was day, and sleep was not the quick go-to option. Sensing the immediate shift in the air, Megamind tilted his head to the side in silent regard. “Roxanne, I really need to finish this project,” he said breathlessly. Her fiancé turned away again, hands shaking at his side. “Why don’t you go out and find Minion? I’m sure he’ll love to see you.”

_He doesn't want this. He doesn't want me, in that way. Is it something I’ve done?_

“That’s fine…” she said. Forcing herself to not tremble at his refusal to even look at her, Roxanne nodded and turned away herself. “I’m going out.” _I need to get out. I need to think._

“Fine,” he responded, poorly masking his unreadable emotions with indifference.

 

~.~.~.~

Truth be told, Roxanne had nearly forgotten all about the real Bernard ever since Titan’s laughably short but terrifying reign. 

Since the museum’s reopening—Well, it was far different from the previous museum (The Metro Man Museum, though distinguished in its grandness, had been solely dedicated to the city’s previous hero). Megamind had refused to have one giant building that only focused on him, feeling it was unnecessary and too much like having his own “temple”, and insisted only _part_ of the new museum be dedicated to him, with the other half showcasing the history of Metro City itself. Roxanne approved of that, and admired the several changes and new exhibits that could be displayed. 

Awfully enough, she had subconsciously traveled to the museum against her intention. Even when she tried to get away from Megamind, her inner self refused to do so. 

Slipping on a pair of sunglasses, and pulling her corduroy hat on, she stepped inside in hopes no one would recognize her. 

Some people still viewed Megamind as a villain. Due to that, several of the Metro Man Museum employees wouldn’t accept the reemployment offer with the new museum’s opening. Roxanne saw lots of new faces here, but one in particular, she noticed, stood out to her. 

Bernard. 

Specialist in all things Megamind. 

“Bernard!” She nearly shouted, spying the wavy haired man sluggishly set up a new exhibit in the Megamind section (roughly half of the museum) that appeared to display all his special weapons. Some of which she recognized on sight; Megamind donated some of his more sinister things to the museum during his reform. 

Upon hearing his name, the man’s shoulders slumped before he turned around to greet whom ever wished to pester him. He pushed up his glasses with his left ring finger—which, she noticed, was home to a simple band of gold. _Oh, my. Was he married while Megamind pretended to be him? I never notice that before!_

Bernard’s hazel eyes narrowed, hunched over his cart of permanently deactivated weapons. As she neared, she pulled off her glasses with a silent prayer that he wouldn’t have too much of a grudge against her or Megamind. When he seemed to finally recognize her, his expression barely changed. “Ms. Roxanne Ritchi,” droned the curator, gathering what seemed to be a glare, but his eyes held a look of forced indifference. “What a surprise,” he deadpanned.

“Hey!” She laughed awkwardly, jogging up to him until they were face-to-face. “Uh, I didn’t expect you to still be here!“

“I’m here,” he said, bored. 

“Are—“ she gulped. “Are you alright? From being dehydrated and all?”

He rolled his eyes and pushed the cart along the display wall, sighing as if it took a tremendous amount of energy. “I guess.” Purposefully ignoring her, he went on about his work. 

She had forgotten how Bernard was in the beginning; they had met shortly before the Metro Man Museum’s opening. He wasn’t mean, per se, but his total lack of willingness to socialize or be nice was near-physically painful to interact with. With Megamind pretending to be Bernard, she was so taken aback by the show of emotion she actually forgot the curator’s typical behavior.

“That’s good… How have you been?” She asked, eager to see how he had faired in the past year. Trying to wordlessly make her point, she eyed his ring. “I’m a little surprised you work here—no hard feeling toward Megamind, then? If I had known he was—”

He cut her off fluidly with sharp sarcasm. “I’m fine, you’re small talk is well noted but pointless; I have no ‘hard feelings’. Before you open your mouth to more inane questions, yes, I’m married, she has her uses. Now are you done interrogating me? I have to get back to work.”

Well alright then.

Roxanne took a deep breath, nodded, and said, “Well, I’m happy for you. I’ll mention it to Megamind.”

His eyes flickered briefly, but it was gone too quick for her to process the hint of emotion. “Whatever,” he intoned, and scooted down the hall with his work. She was left in the grand room, standing in the shadow of a tall, proud statue of her fiancé. 

 

~.~.~.~

Next month was the wedding.

The fucking wedding, she thought miserable.

Nothing was okay—Megamind was ignoring her. Ignoring her, really! Every time she stepped into the lair he made some hasty excuse about being to busy for her. Hero duties, inventions, brainbot drama. Whatever he said, it was the unspoken statement that he didn’t want her around. 

Perhaps, she theorized, he was still wanting to do things traditionally. But the wedding was in four weeks—he could still see her without all that nonsense about bad luck on seeing the bride before the wedding. 

Secondly Megamind was not speaking to her. He wouldn’t pick up the phone or so much as answer a text. This bothered her, of course, but having a man’s (alien or not) constant reassurance of love wasn’t something she needed. But she was only human. And this really, really ~~worried~~ bugged her.

“Trouble in paradise?” Asked Lilly, her therapist. 

Dr. Lilly Monroe-Anderson was a nice woman, with soft strawberry hair and more freckles than Roxanne thought possible. She always has the brightest smile and brightest sundresses, with stilettoes as high as her good mood. She frequently brought donuts and coffee for her clients. Roxanne enjoyed their therapist-client relationship—she’d even say they would be good friends if it wasn’t for the doctor-patient rule. Roxanne had known Lilly for years (Lilly listened to all her rants about Megamind, even when he was still a villain), enough so that she even met Lilly’s spouse Mandy a few times. Mandy was a mall cop, retired from the MCPD after a dislocated hip accident. The couple had very different personalities, but Roxanne thought that it was adorable. 

“Heh,” Roxanne shrugged, not particularly wanting to get into the whole mess with her and Megamind. “Sort of. I guess it’s the stress of the wedding.” 

Lilly smiled and bobbed her head in sympathy, pouring Roxanne a generous cup of coffee on the little table between them. “Mandy and I just had a quick and small one—less stress.”

“Oh, we think so too,” Roxanne agreed, thanking her for the cup. “But my parents would kill me before I got eloped without them there!”

“Haha,” the other girl laughed, “cute, Roxy, but really. It’s not the wedding, is it?”

The brunette nearly spat out her coffee, it suddenly tasting like dirt. 

Lilly jumped on this. “You keep glancing at your phone—you’ve been getting less sleep. I see it in your eyes. You’re fidgeting much more than the last time I saw you. So, Roxy, what seems to be on your mind, if not the wedding?” Lilly glanced at Roxanne’s engagement ring. 

“How does this have to do with Megamind?”

Lilly tilted her head, picking up on her client’s sudden defensiveness with ease. “I didn’t say it had to do with your blue beau.”

Well, damn. Damn Lilly and her Sherlockian skills.

“It’s just—Ugh, I don’t know!”

“Whoah, there, careful with the coffee, it’s hot.”

“I have no idea what’s wrong,” she admitted, feeling the tension in her uncurl and snap. “He’s ignoring me.”

“Ignoring you?” Lilly’s eyebrows bunched together, picking up her familiar notepad and pen. “But he always seems so—puppy-eyed over you.”

“Well, now he won’t even look at me… Lilly, do—can I ask you a personal question?”

The young woman smiled sweetly. “Of course.”

“Mandy’s—nonbionary, I know, but—has sex ever been an issue between you guys? I’m sorry, is that too per—“

Soft hazel eyes met hers over the their steaming cups of coffee. “It’s okay, I don’t mind. Sex is great for us, if you ask me. But in the beginning I did wonder a lot what they had in their pants. But, Roxy, love is blind in more ways than one. I love Mandy so much I don’t think I’d care if they had tentacles.” Lilly’s eyes widened. “Does Megamind have tentacles?”

Roxanne went still. “I—“

The other woman waved her hand in dismissal, acceptance warming her eyes. “You don’t have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable. Is sex a problem, though?”

“It’s just—“ Roxanne gulped. Should she even be talking about this? It was—personal. But Lilly knew most personal things about her. “It sounds like I’m—sex craved or something, I know. But—“

Lilly gracefully cut in. “Sex with your significant other is nothing to be ashamed of, Roxy. It’s an important part of most relationships. Whether it’s present or not.”

She shakily nodded. She took a deep breath, and let it out. Then she spoke. “He doesn’t let me touch him.”

Roxanne heard the scrape of Lilly’s pen on her note pad. Uh-oh. “How so?”

“Megamind—he, he really enjoys cunnilingus.”

“Oh?” Lilly sounded, slipping from her doctor-appropriate attitude for a second.

“But after he’s done, he won’t let me—return the favor. No touching. Lilly, I haven’t even seen him without clothes on.”

“Hm.”

“He won’t even—he’s just—I don’t know! Now he won’t talk to me and—It’s just such a mess.”

“Roxy, have you two discussed this? Head on?”

“He says he wants to wait until we’re married, but—See? I sound like such a sl—“

Lilly shot her a disappointed look, but remained silent. _We do not use negative labels in this room,_ the doctor had told her once, long ago.

“—I see where he’s coming from, in wanting to wait… But…”

“He’s too dodgy of the subject?”

“Yes,” Roxanne agreed. “He’s like—avoiding it. It feels like he’s got this extreme oral fixation and I’m his outlet, and then boom, my job’s done once I come.”

Lilly took in a patient sigh. With soft little fingers, she took off her glasses and folded them, tapping the silvery frame against her crossed knee. “I’m afraid it’s my turn to ask you a personal question, Roxy. I have never met your famous blue love, but I do know he’s not physically human. From what I’ve heard from you in these past years, and the stuff on media, he seems like a normal guy. However, due to the fact he’s not from around here I have to wonder—does he have genitals?”

“Honestly? I have no idea.”

“Does that bother you?”

“I wouldn’t care if he had tentacles.”

Lilly smiled. “Has he told you anything about his genitalia?”

“No.”

“Hmm,” she made a little curious sound, dotting something down on her pad. “Roxanne,” began the doctor, using her full name. Lilly only ever called her that when she was about to say something really serious. “Sex is very, very important, despite what some people might say. Even when it’s not something a couple has, it’s still—there, but unspoken. An asexual pair, or a pair with one person asexual, sex may not be had or wanted but it’s clear and wordlessly spoken it’s not needed. For others, where sex is desired, it’s an essential part of the relationship. Have you heard of the languages of love, Roxanne? I want you to check it out tonight as homework.” Lilly ripped off a sticky note from her desk, and dotted down the website. “Read your results, show it to Megamind if you wish. 

“Love shows itself in many ways, and no matter what flouts one’s boat, love is vital! For some, love is most obvious with spending time together, or giving gifts. For others, it’s talking about love with declarations. More so, another might need physical reassurance of love, like hugs and kisses—or sex. Overall, it’s still important. Megamind might show his love for you by touch—you might feel the same way, it seems. Still, I want you to check the site out, okay?”

“Sure.”

Lilly glanced to the clock. Their session was nearly over. Giving an unsatisfied huff, the chirpy psychologist turned back to her client. “There’s another thing, Roxy,” she said. “Let’s go back to Megamind’s bio. Do you know if he’s had sex before?”

“Yes, actually—well, I mean, he hasn’t; I know he’s a virgin still.”

“Hmm. Okay. Have you thought about what he might be afraid of?”

“Afraid?” Roxanne’s ears went up.

“Yes. Do you think that he might be uncomfortable being with a human in a sexual way? What I mean to say, is that maybe he’s unsure of how you’ll react.”

“I’ve thought of that before, but he won’t be—“

Lilly’s face, to Roxanne’s confusion, went a little red. “Now, this might be a little unprofessional of me but perhaps Megamind needs a little proof of your acceptance of him.”

“What—what do you mean? Before last week, he had his face between my legs nearly ever day. He’s got the proof I want him.”

“That may be true, but I mean for his—extremities. There’s a—another site. That may help.”

Roxanne blinked owlishly. She watched, concerned yet a little excited, as Lilly wrote another thing on the sticky note on her pad. Once done, she ripped it off and handed it to her. “You don’t have to talk about it once I see you again, but this may—push him along, if sex continues to be an issue even after you try a direct head-on approach. Please, try talking to him first. Maybe there’s a factor we’re missing here.”

Roxanne nodded, mute. She glanced at the note, reading the little site. It was unfamiliar to her, but it sounded—interesting.

Perhaps she’d check it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you don't like dr. lilly and her non-binary spouse the mall cop you can fucking fight me
> 
> also i hate editing. if ya know of a good beta, or are interested in editing for this story, feel free to contact me on tumblr. same user!


	3. III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for chapter: References to sexual abuse.

Roxanne took the online quiz to find out her “love language”, as Lilly called it. She was skeptical of the results, but upon researching the site and the studies behind its phycology, she felt more curious. Her results, though, weren’t anything she saw as terrible vital. Just interesting. However, when she went to show Megamind the site, he, of course, denied her.

“Denied her” meaning that he couldn’t even look at her face to say he was too busy for her—“Denied her” meaning he sent Minion in his place. Coward.

There were five separate love languages. Verbal affirmation, acts of service, gift giving, quality time, and physical touch. The quiz she took measured all these types of affection, and how she herself delt with them, plus how it could help her romantic, and non-romantic, encounters. It was very informal and helpful, but the site said if she wished to know everything, she would have to buy the book. Roxanne was very tempted to.

As for herself, it said she leaned more toward acts. At first she was rather offended—it sounded like she needed a man to be on his hands and feet in order to feel loved! However, Roxanne quickly learned that that wasn’t so. 

She remembered how proud she felt when Megamind changed his mind on dealing Titan. Her heart had swelled so much when she saw that great big head of his in the sky illuminated by the brainbots. And how much she _loved_ Megamind with his choice to turn to heroism. Roxanne felt loved when Megamind not only spent time with her or touched her—anyone could do that. But Megamind—proved it, with nearly everything he did. Looking back on their relationship, her suspicions that he was only out to get his oral fix off on her was diminished.

Therefor, there had to be a damn good reason for Megamind’s steady withdrawal. 

“Minion,” Roxanne called to the alien fish’s attention before he could go back to helping his ward. Minion’s fins waved once, and he turned to give her his full regard. “What have you and Megamind been up to?”

Minion blinked once, looking surprised. “Lots of things, ma’am. New inventions to help protect Metro City, or to help the citizen’s every-day life. Oh, and the wedding, of course!” He said, smiling a sharp-tooth smile.

_Alright, so he’s not backing out of this soon-to-be-marriage._

“Ah. Well, tell him to please call me, okay?”

“Alright…” Minion licked his lips. His too-human eyes squinted suddenly, as if a curious thought had suddenly afflicted him. “Ms. Ritchi? May I ask you a question?”

“Sure,” Roxanne chirped quietly.

“How come you and Sir aren’t talking anymore?”

Roxanne’s breath hitched. “You’ve noticed that.”

Minion pressed his lips together. “I apologize, ma’am, if it’s too personal, but Sir’s been down in the dumps. Did you two—fight?”

“No, no—Well, I don’t know. He’s not returning my calls or anything.”

“Haven’t you seen him lately?”

“No.”

Minion’s little ‘orbs’ (she didn’t know what else to call them, besides that they reminded her of what was on the head of an anglerfish, but more fluid) along his head swayed in his water bowl as he contemplated—something.

“I suppose he’s nervous.”

“Minion, I’m about as nervous as him.”

The ichthyic alien’s colors glowed darker. “Oh, ma’am, I can imagine so! For both of you! Of course, you two are already—familiar with each other, so I suppose it shouldn’t be too hard to accommodate him and his—“

“What?” 

Minion’s fins flourished, and he stammered, “I only say that because it’s been a frightening path for him to be intimate with you—Not you in particular! He will only, always, be you he wants after all—he’s just afraid hurting you! I’m actually _very_ proud at how much he’s willing to be so intimate with you already…“

Roxanne wasn’t sure what Minion was going on out specifically, but her “nosy reporter skills” were flying up with red flags at the smaller alien’s statement. She had theorized Megamind was afraid of sex because of his lack of experience. According to Minion, Megamind knew what sex was early on (from his prison uncles), but had no idea sex led to reproduction amongst humans until he was twenty-four. Oh! Secondly, she thought that Megamind was worried over her reaction to naked him. Why, though, after all their fooling around, she wasn’t sure.

But fearing that he’d hurt her? Roxanne was not a virgin.

“Wait, why would he be afraid of that? I think at this point I can take things a little rough,” she admitted, and hoped he would see that far from—well, sexual. Though Minion was more non-human than Megamind, it still felt strange to talk about her sex life.

Minion went still. 

“You mean you don’t know?”

_What? What don’t I know?_

“Oh!” Abruptly exclaimed Minion, who brought his great big robotic gorilla hands on his dome head. “I’m not to suppose to talk about that! I thought you knew!”

“What? What don’t I know?!”

“I’m terribly sorry, Ms. Ritchi, but I have to go!” Sobbed the fish, who waved to a pair of brainbots that were standing by. They bowg’ed, and zoomed over to Roxanne with their pinchers outstretched. 

“Hey! Don’t throw me out—“

“Again, I’m so so sorry, ma’am, but I have to let him tell you,” Minion said, frowning miserably as he watched a furious Roxanne be escorted out of the Lair.

~.~.~.~

When Roxanne was safely tucked into the privacy of her own flat, she let her fury out.

Growling to herself in a loud huff of anger, she picked up a vase and threw it at the wall, watching it shatter into tiny pieces. Roxanne grabbed her hair and pulled, furious, and altogether confused more than ever.

Megamind was not one for subtly. No, he preferred to go head first into things with a clear mind of what he would do and how—and he was not afraid to tell all about it. However, what Minion told her today just piled on more questions to her growing mountain of questions!

She had to cool down first, and thinking of her seemingly never ending frustration with Megamind was not going to help. Instead, she poured herself a glass of white whine and brought out her laptop (given to her by Megamind—gah!) for some more internet surfing. Lilly’s note was still here, stuck to her fridge. Sniffing, she got that too before settled on the couch.

The website Lilly suggested didn’t sound like anything a doctor would tell a patient about. Then again, Lilly’s behavior at it openly implied it wasn’t professional. At all.

And sure enough, when she typed the site in, Roxanne nearly spat her wine out.

Oh, God. 

How did she not know about this?

Clearly Roxanne was not the first one to fantasize about xenophillia. The entire site was geared to the weird in a most sexual manner—Dildos. Vibrators. Masturbators. Cock sheaths. Strap-ons. _Oh, oh my…_

Roxanne felt wonderfully naughty and horny at the same time, browsing the website’s wide offer of oddly shaped toys for the bedroom. It was colorful, it was new, and it was—alien. Very, very alien.

Scrolling through the dildos, Roxanne came across a single one that immediately called to her. Flushed, she clicked it to read the toy’s description and see the offered pictures. What caught her attention, though, was it’s—way of reminding her of her fiancé.

The member was a soft pink color, with a pointed tip and a curvy base that made her think of a sucker-less tentacle. The toy’s base, though, was blue. It looked like something she’d daydreamed about coming out of her significant other.

Oh and look, wee, she’s actually going to buy it. Why? Roxanne wasn’t sure. She was angry at Megamind for his absence, at Minion for keeping her in the dark—hell, if Megamind saw, maybe it would get through to his fat skull that not only was she more than willing to look past his strangeness, but willing to embrace it.

And just to spite him.

With another hour of scrolling through the site and it’s goods, she ordered a few things with zero regard of her pocketbook (she was drunk, and her fiancé was the city’s fucking defender, so fuck it)

Once she completed the payment and put her laptop away, Roxanne felt all her pent up energy crash. Guilt crept up on her, then, after what she had done. 

Immediately, as she reclined on her couch in the silence, and the fading light of day throwing shadows over her strong jaw, Roxanne felt terror over the possibility of Megamind discovering her new toys. What if he thought she was over him? Oh, god, maybe she should call the company and cancel her order. 

Sniffling, half drunk, and feeling like an absolute whore, she went over the day’s events and her place with Megamind. 

Whatever Megamind was afraid of, it had to be about sex. She understood his desire to wait until they were officially married until they consummated the relationship, but the blue hero’s complete avoidance of the matter was—concerning. He loved kissing her, touching her, saying that he loved her… and not to mention his infatuation for going down on her. Yet once she laid her hands on him in any sort of way that suggested she’d like to return the favor, he shut her out immediately. Even if she tried to pull his spandex or leathers off, he pulled away. No matter what she did in any situation or mood, he presented a clear sign that her touch was unneeded.

Unwanted. Unwelcome. 

Shivering, Roxanne felt more her energy sucked out of her like a blown out candle. The whole situation was confusing, and infuriating, and worrisome, and she had no idea how to fix it.

What Minion said was haunting her. He had gone on about Megamind’s fear the wedding and of hurting her, and nerves from both of them. But there was something else—something she was missing. What if—Minion wasn’t talking about the wedding? Their marriage? What!? How could Megamind think she wasn’t ready to accept him?

Roxanne shook her head. The only thing she could think of was that Megamind had non-human genitals and he was scared of showing her; and that somehow that big brain of his thought he’d “hurt” her by doing so. It had to be that…. So why…

She sniffed. Megamind told her before, Minion too, that they grew up in a prison (of all places!). Both of them talked of their favorite prison uncles, but surely not every man that is sent to a penitentiary meant for the criminally gifted is pure hearted deep down. 

Upon that thought, something very dark, and very, very chilling, surfaced in her mind.

_I only say that because it’s been a frightening path to be intimate with you—Not you in particular!_

_I’m actually very proud at how much he’s willing to be intimate with you…_

_Have you thought about what he might be afraid of?_

_Maybe there’s a factor we’re missing here._

_Let’s wait, please?_

_Not yet, Roxanne._

_I’m good! No need for your—favors tonight._

_Sir’s never been on for direction contact with others, Ms. Ritchi…_

 

Roxanne thought of all his avoidance of her touch. 

She thought of his refusal to talk about sex in general, and his prickly (though exuberant) behavior toward others. 

She thought of his spikes and his clothes, the layers of leather and the fearsome weapons. 

She thought of his gloves, the aversion to touch below the shoulders.

She thought of the look of fear flashing in his eyes that one time she tried to (playfully) tug his shirt off.

Oh, God. Oh, Oh—

Roxanne was going to be _sick._

 

~.~.~.~.~

She kept a distance from Megamind for three whole days. Three whole days where she stayed at home (whenever she wasn’t a work) and did nothing but drink wine and sob her eyes out in horror. All these time she was—throwing herself at him, thinking something was messed up in how he thought of her, when in reality, he was messed up so much deeper than originally believed. It sounded so wrong to even say that—she had to have been triggering him left and right!

How the fuck could he even stand to look at her? She was just a step away from rape—it was molestation! She was—such, such a whore. Always thinking about herself—Oh, Megamind. That wretched soul—what was she doing to him?

When her three days of solitude came to an end, she hopped into her van and drove out to the lake, where the little red schoolhouse stood like an image from an old photograph.

Blindly, she wandered in and flung herself into Wayne’s hideout, feeling so numb she could hardly process the sound of her feet shuffling along the white carpet. She had to tell somebody—anybody.

~.~

“Roxy?” Wayne, in the middle of one of his guitar practices, said in surprise. She’d come in without knocking. Luckily she caught him in a decent state.

“Wayne,” she said with a trembling stony face, “I’ve done something terrible.”

The hulky alien sniffed, dropping his guitar as he watched his female friend slowly sit down onto the couch. It wasn’t normal for her to look so—down trodden, but a few things had changed in her. Roxanne’s hair was a tad longer, he noticed, and she wore a clear lack of makeup, making her freckles stand out quite cutely. Humans in general were cute—in a puppy-dog kinda way. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked seriously, kneeling before her. Hopefully it wasn’t something he had to suit up for. He made it quite clear he was done with the hero show biz. 

“I’m molesting Megamind.”

Oh. Okay. Wow. That was not something he’d expect to ever come out of Roxy’s mouth. Heck, he hadn’t even thought of ‘molesting’ and ‘Megamind’ in the same sentence.

Wayne had no idea what to say—given that, if this was anybody else, concerning anybody else, he would insist that this person be brought to justice. However, he knew Roxy, and he knew Megamind, so this was—weird.

His silence pushed her on to elaborate. “Do you know if he was touched—as a kid? In prison?”

_What? I was **not** prepared for that._

“I—I’m sorry? Are we talking about Megamind?”

“Yes!” Roxanne shouted, startling him. “I have reason to believe he was sexually abused in prison.”

“Okay. Roxy. I don’t know what made you think that but—“ Wayne gulped. Certainly he didn’t have his little buddy’s brain, but he was, to his own fears, starting to see where Roxanne was coming from. “ _What_ makes you think that?”

“Just think about it! He’s never had a chance to grow up—he hates touch. He freaks out when I touch him below the shoulder, did you know that? His spikes—the colors. His De-gun’s always by his side… Oh, God, I’m so selfish—“

“Woah, there, Roxy. Slow down. Take a deep breath. You’re smart, Roxy, but flipping out’s not going to help.” Wayne’s mind was swirling. His memory warming up, he thought back to the first time he remembers seeing Megamind. They had been children, and up in that very room above his pad. At the time Wayne saw him as competition. From early on he knew he was not from his world—his parents showed him the pod—and so he assumed he was one of a kind. Then the little blue kid shows up—hard not to see he wasn’t an alien, too. But the other kid had special cloths, and came to school with two person escorts in his own bus! Gah! Wayne had been very jealous.

His reasons to pick on the kid (at the time, Megamind was called 6. Like the number) only grew once his parents encouraged him to do so. But as a kid Wayne didn’t see the flaw in that, and it was only the day of his “death” did he realize this whole mess was nothing more than a farce brewed by his parents. Megamind wasn’t evil at all! Just—was he playing too? Wayne assumed so. But—he had hurt the little guy in their youth… and during battles…

And Megamind tried so hard—

Wayne was beginning to take Roxanne’s words into consideration. Megamind did come to school with—marks, sometimes. 

Megamind flinched whenever he tried to touch him.

Oh… Why hadn’t he seen that before!

_Oh, that’s just sick! How could I ever think that Megamind was chill in a prison! There are actual bad people there!_

“Oh, Roxy,” his voice hitched, and he rose up to sit beside her. The thought of something really hurting his little buddy was—infuriating. And Wayne rarely got mad. “That’s messed up. Really, really messed up.”

“I need to confront him,” she sobbed, whipping away a tear. He only saw her cry a few times—all within the time her brother Mike passed away. “We have to confront him.”

“Yeah, yeah we do.”

“He should be at his Lair—I haven’t heard from him in days, though. He’s been so—withdrawn, lately. I’m afraid—I’m afraid I’ve forced him into this—relationship. Oh, God, Wayne! I’m such a god-awful person! All this time I’ve just been _hurting_ him—“

“Okay, okay, I’m not saying you’re blameless, but you need to calm down, Roxy. Deep breaths, come on now. I’ll come with you, but first you have to stop panicking—“

“Even you think I’m a rapist!” 

Okay. Confronting Megamind would have to wait—He sighed, and tugged the hysterical little woman to his broad chest in a fierce hug. 

This was a lot to process...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Here's a link to the dildo Roxanne ordered.](https://bad-dragon.com/products/kona)
> 
>  
> 
> And the site... Hehe.
> 
> I own nothing!


End file.
